What was your year 2022 like and are you ready to say goodbye?
What events or experiences did you have that became life lessons?
What are you grateful for 2022?
The preceding questions is my way of helping you find how 2022 has shaped you and how your future years will be like from lessons learned and the growth you have gained this year and from years past.
GOODBYE
In my previous blog, I mentioned of my experience with losing loved ones. I know, I am not unique in this experience. Many of you have also lost loved ones from COVID and from other causes. And we know it isn't easy! Losing my best friend in a tragic car accident in 2019, my husband in 2020 (from an autoimmune disease), and my father in 2021 from a tragic car accident, were enough to send me down the cliff's edge! Was I supposed to learn something from the experience? Did I learn something from the experience? But isn't severe grief lesson enough to never lose a loved one again? To hold on to them? To do everything possible to keep them safe and healthy? Even though in reality, you know that many things are completely out of your control?
Have you ever felt so much pain that your chest feels like bursting and your mind just wants to stop working for good? And, that if you don't make a conscious effort to come back to the present moment, you feel like you're never coming back to sanity again? One of the hardest part of going through the experience is feeling alone! You are surrounded by people and yet, you feel like no one can give you comfort and reassurance that all will be alright. Some people say things they think will help you (and they mean well) but actually don't! In most cases, it made me feel even worse!
What I Learned
Consequently, losing the most important people in my life and going through the grieving and mourning process, have been instrumental in affirming the rest of my life's mission, which is to live everyday to the fullest with minimal to no regrets! I do my very best every day. I am kind to myself when I fall short or when I fail. My ultimate goal and hope is to spend the rest of my life making memories, improving my relationships with family and friends and with God, serving others, and pursuing things that make me happy.
An important realization I have is that life is short, uncertain, and unpredictable. And that I cannot stop me and others from dying. Therefore, I need to embrace the truth and make it my daily truth! Since death comes without notice, I will let my loved ones know as often as I could, of my love and concern for them and that they are important to me now and forever. Furthermore, the uncertainty of our last breath is reason enough to no longer procrastinate our happiness and joy. No more will you hear me say, "I'll travel to ______ and do __________ when I retire" or "I'll visit you in 5 years". When a thought or idea comes to mind, I go do it - assuming of course, that it is practical , reasonable, objective, safe, and meaningful to me!
I have also become a servant of empathy! I know firsthand how empathy feels when you are the one suffering. I have a glimpse of what it is like to have family and friends who understand empathy. "I'm so sorry for your loss - but they are in a much better place now". If you can avoid saying this statement, I encourage you to do so. Let the bereaved say it to themselves as a coping mechanism, but it should not come from you! It does not provide comfort, at least not to me! If you have never experienced such loss, you can say something like, "I don't know what it's like to be where you are but know that I'm here for you". Let the bereaved talk about their loved ones. Just let them cry (it's part of mourning) and cry with them. Just be there to listen - you do not need to utter a word, your presence is enough!
Sometimes, your loss becomes the catalyst for inspiration!
Just a few weeks after my husband died, an inspiration came, which I attributed to my angels from the other side! It came when I was in my lowest of lows. This inspiration is the genesis of what is now Dr. Em Natural Beauty (DREMNATURAL). I found a passion I did not know I had (since I already had other passions). You see, over the years, I have been concerned about some ingredients in skin care and beauty products. The way I responded to this concern was to limit its use and to purchase products at health food stores. Later on I found out, that just because they are sold at health food stores do not necessarily mean that they are safe (and effective!). And as I have embarked on doing things my way - that is, making products that I can truly feel confident about its content/ingredients, that I am finding more meaning and purpose in my life. I realize that using natural and safe ingredients is NEWS worth spreading. Hence, the continued journey of DREMNATURAL to share with those who care to listen!
And so I say, I have accepted the loss of my loved ones and do not feel guilty for times where I feel sad and lonely, and unhappy and alone. These are emotions and feelings associated with living! I embrace it! Because my losses not only brought me difficult moments and struggles, but it also encouraged and nurtured growth and new experiences in my life. In fact, just a few weeks ago, I married a wonderful man worthy of my love and affection, and so I am starting a new journey that gives my life even more meaning and purpose.
My hope is for you to find reasons to be grateful for and to celebrate the joys and heartaches that helped you grow and evolve into a better person that you want to become! Record moments in your life in a journal (do it on a weekly basis), and at the end of each year, reflect what your year has been and how you can make the next year even better. Do things that give your life meaning and purpose. Be there for someone. Be empathetic and care more about others. Strive to be the person you are destined to become. Have a great year 2023!
(Here's my business plug: Email me should you have questions about products that are right for your skin and other product-related questions). Visit our online shop at dremnatural.com.
As always, love your skin and it will love you back.
Much love,
Dr. Em
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